Bang, Bang
by Emotional Intelligence
Summary: They were best friends, turned lovers. How did it all go so wrong? Songfic to " Bang Bang Nancy Sinatra .


I was five and he was six

I was five and he was six  
We rode on horses made of sticks  
He wore black and I wore white  
He would always win the fight

Remember when your father came home and bought you toys from the town. He said the carpenter made it for you because you helped him hold the planks together when he was making a coffin for your mother. You didn't speak to me that day, just sat on your porch, the two stick horses lying beside you. I hid in the bushes and watched you for hours until finally with the setting of the sun you got up and l went in the house.

The next day my Mama sent me over with cookies, she told me to pass her sympathies on to you. I didn't, I knew it would only make you hurt even more. Instead I told you that you could have the cookies if you let me play with one of your two horses. You didn't say anything just passed me a stick horse and shut the door in my face. I was left with the cookies, watching the door as if you would come back and open it again, you didn't. You were not going to play with me today.

A week passed before you finally came to my house. You brought your horses with you, and asked me if I wanted to go and play with you in the fields. I was very happy that day, when the sun shined down on me as I galloped on my steed through the golden fields. We were bandits, running away with our stolen gold. You where there, right behind me watching me laugh and smiling as I turned to you and pretended to shoot you with my imaginary gun. You would fake your death in the most dramatic way, then collapse onto the ground and lie still. Even though you had done this so many time before, I couldn't help but worry as I watched you lay on the ground so still, almost as if you really did die. I walked up to you and fell to my knees to look at your face closer. You suddenly grabbed me and I screamed as you pulled me down on top of you. You grabbed my hair pulling it to bring my head closer to you, then you take out your gun and place it to my temple.

"Bang " you say

Bang bang, he shot me down  
Bang bang, I hit the ground  
Bang bang, that awful sound  
Bang bang, my baby shot me down.

Last day of the holidays was just like any other day. We were just lying in the field watching the clouds make swirling patterns in the blue sky. You didn't say much when we lay like this. You didn't have to. I knew what we saw in the clouds didn't have to be criticised, it was there just simply for us to accept it being there. Some things had to be accepted because they couldn't be changed. Like your mother dying and my father leaving and never coming back. It was just how life was, usually there was a routine, but occasionally it went beyond the lines, and that's something I learned to understand very well. You turned then and looked at my face, your hand reaching out to grasp mine.

"Please Suzie; promise me that we are going to be friends forever."

I remember the uncertainty in your eyes and the fear that I would leave you, leave you like your mother did.

"I promise "

Seasons came and changed the time  
When I grew up, I called him mine  
He would always laugh and say  
"Remember when we used to play?"

I was so excited on the last day of school. The prospect of becoming independent was both terrifying and exhilarating to me at the same time. I watched you exit the school for the last time. You walked up to me and laid a hand gently on my waist. We both just stood there looking at the school and watching Mrs Joanna shut the doors for the last time. We both agreed that someday our children would go to this school. It wasn't much but it was full of happy memories, memories I would someday pass as stories to my children.

The cart arrived and you helped me in. We sat together talking and making plans for the future. You wanted to become a carpenter. I thought it was a great idea; you were always good with making things from wood. You made our bed and kitchen table that now stood proudly in our little house. I was hoping to get a job as a nurse. You said that was always going to come in handy, and we both laughed at that. You always knew how to make me smile.

We moved the rest of our thing from our parent's houses. Our dream was finally coming true.

I was unpacking when you came in. I didn't see you but I heard your soft chuckle from the front door.

"What you laughing at?" I asked, stopping to look at you

"Remember when we used to play bandits in the fields"

I just smiled, and lifted my hand to point at him with my gun.

"Bang"

Bang bang, I shot you down  
Bang bang, you hit the ground  
Bang bang, that awful sound  
Bang bang, I used to shoot you down.

We were getting married in a week. I was at home all day working on my wedding dress. You came by and gave me flowers.

"I picked them for you because they reminded me of how beautiful you are."

I couldn't help but smile. I haven't seen you in over a fortnight. You were always working with the carpenter. He was a greedy man keeping you away from me. I hated not seeing you for so long.

Yet there you were now, standing in our door way, as if you never left.

Music played, and people sang  
Just for me, the church bells rang.

I stood in the church waiting for you to arrive. It was midday and the whole town has gathered for our wedding. I scanned the crowed and saw many familiar faces, but the one face I wanted to see more then anything wasn't anywhere in the crowd.

I saw a man run through the church doors towards the sheriff and his wife who sat formally at the front of the altar. I watched as he whispered something into his ear and the sheriff jumped to his feet and ran from the church with the messenger at his heel.

Later that night, I was sitting at home and getting drunk on our honey moon wine. It was so bitter sweet that the taste alone made me cry. The sheriff had come by before and told me that the carpenter you had claimed to work for was actually the renowned criminal Ben Wade, and that you were involved with him and his gang in a bank robbery. He didn't say much after that but left quickly, briefly grasping my hand.

I stayed at home the rest of the week, sending the neighbours boy for groceries. The other wives had started to talk, about how I had locked my elf away and drank away my sorrow in vain hope to forget you. They didn't know how wrong they were. I didn't drink to forget you that would be easy enough, I was still young another man was bound to come along and sweep me off my feet, give me the life you never did. No I didn't drink to forget you; I drank to forgive you Charlie Prince, because that in itself was the hardest thing for me to do.

I lay awake that night and in the morning I had soaked my pillow through. The next day I left the house for the first time since the wedding. I walked to my mother's house and knocked on the door.

My mother didn't ask questions, she just pulled me into a hug and led me in the house. The next day I put the house on the market. It sold quickly, I didn't ask for much, just enough to get me to the next town and buy me a flat there.

I wasn't going to let my past haunt me for the rest of my life and so I left in hope of leaving your shadow behind.

Now he's gone, I don't know why  
And till this day, sometimes I cry  
He didn't even say goodbye  
He didn't take the time to lie.

I married James Woodworth; he was a banker and a rich man. He could provide for me and for my daughter Essy. I never told James but the child was not his. He didn't ask questions just told me that as long as I never stood up to him or questioned his decisions, I would be provided for. I was taught how to play the perfect wife and soon enough, it has become a part of me. In a year I had become know as one of the wealthiest and respected women in the town.

Years passed and Essy grew up quickly. When she was eight, I took her back to my old family home and she met her grandmother. I showed her the old school, but never told her any stories. She didn't need to know.

It was her tenth birthday when I saw you again. You rode into town with Ben Wade at the head of your party of bandits. I watched you ride through the village shooting innocent bystanders, those brave enough to watch you ride past.

You didn't spare anyone you saw. I watched you shoot Mrs King the old baker and Mr Jackson the black smith, as well as countless others on your way, and as I watched I wondered if it was even you. The Charlie I knew would never do something like that. As much as you looked like him I felt it was no longer you sitting astride that horse and taking life like it was candy.

Ben Wade broke down the door and I watched him shoot our butler, then the maids. He walked up the stairs and I ran to Essy's room hoping that I could get her out safely before you got me.

Essy didn't ask questions when she saw me run into the room and lock the door behind me. She watched with wide blue eyes as I pulled away a book case hiding a panic room door. I pulled the heavy metal door slightly open and pulled her in just as the bedroom door was blow of its hinges.

There you stood dirty and ragged; looking like you hadn't washed for months. You didn't seem to recognise me and I prayed it would stay that way.

"Where is ya money walt Missy."

"We don't have one at home, all our money my husband keeps at the bank."

You didn't like my honest answer, I watched you pull out your gun and point it at me.

"Try again Missy"

I looked you straight in the eyes and knew I was going to die, your gaze showed no mercy.

"If there is any money in the house, I wouldn't know."

You walked gracefully around Essy's bed and sat down on the edge before gingerly picking up a stuffed animal in your hand.

"You got a child Miss."

I nodded; I could tell you as much. But on Gods name I would never tell you where she was.

You didn't ask just placed the bear back on the bed then got up and walked over to the book shelf. I watched as you moved the case and the door appeared.

"She's here ain't she."

I didn't answer; I was only hoping Essy remembered to lock the door behind her like I taught her to. You pushed the door but it didn't budge, I sighed in relief. That was until you turned to me and gazed coldly at me.

"Open this door Missy."

I didn't move

"Open it now and I promise on my gold, you and your chubby cheeked babe go free and unharmed. I only want the money."

I still didn't move, I didn't hear a word you said it was all lies anyway.

You walked towards me and press the barrel to my forehead, your eyes glazing over with hate.

"Open it now, or die." You shouted in my face. Your gun hand was trembling and I watched your face contour in anger at my lack of response. Possibly you were waiting for me to fall to my knees and plead mercy. I didn't. There was no point I already knew I was going to die at your hand. It was either me or Essy, and even though she is the daughter of a monster, she will grow up nothing like you and of that alone I was sure.

"Bang, Bang"

Then darkness swallowed me

Bang bang, he shot me down  
Bang bang, I hit the ground  
Bang bang, that awful sound  
Bang bang, my baby shot me down...


End file.
